How To Build a Healthy Relationship With Your Self

What’s your relationship with your Self like? Do you talk to yourself in the same way you talk to others? Do you abide in a relationship with yourself that is kind, disciplined & loving...Like the one you have with the child you love? Or do you find yourself in constant conflict within the relationship with yourself? Do you use harsh and negative words when speaking to yourself? Do you beat yourself up with words quite often? Do you use the same language and tone of voice as you do with your best friend?

These are important questions to ask ourselves… One of the biggest issues that holds us back the most in life from living authentically & truly living how we want to show up, is the voice in our heads that creates the relationship with our selves.

One of the fastest ways I found to create a thriving relationship with myself was when I was in my single years, without a significant other, & yet longed for adventure and exploration. I had always been able to fulfill these passions with my partner... but when this was not available to me, I decided to face my biggest fear and take a mountain bike trip on my own.

These pics are from my first trip to unknown mountains (to me) to ride my bike. When I look at these, I can remember the fear I had starting off on an unknown trail, completely alone in the cool, early morning hours, with no cell service and only a map I had to read on my own to get me back home. I remember having thoughts that I shouldn’t be doing this. That if I get hurt or die out here nobody is going to know. That I was being irresponsible. And at the same time, I knew if I didn’t do this, I was going to lose part of me. It was time to begin to grow that healthy relationship with myself.

I can truthfully say that taking that trip completely solo, was the best thing I ever did for my relationship with my self, for my relationship with my daughter, and for my future relationship with the man I love. It gave me the tools to trust myself, to be compassionate with myself, to be vulnerable with myself, to know my ability & my worth, to give me confidence which then allowed me to bring those things into my other relationships. (On a side note- I ended up taking quite a few solo trips on my own after this one…that’s how wonderful the experience was! And, to this day, I try to work in day-solo-adventures at least once or twice a month to keep my relationship with myself going strong.)

If you can make it happen, alone time in wilderness with some fear and struggle can help immensely to quickly create that healthy relationship with yourself. Other ways can include journaling to yourself, learning & reprogramming yourself to talk differently to your self, & therapy. (One of the greatest works in therapy is to help a client create a healthy relationship with themselves). When the relationship with ourselves is healthy, we are able to live our most purposeful, authentic, and meaningful lives. #tryit