The Importance of Silence & How To Cultivate It

The idea of silence and solo-ness is one I took head-on this past July. I participated in a solo bikepacking adventure for a few days and took myself out of my comfort zone by camping alone. So the notion of silence and solitude has been on my radar this past month and is something I want to offer as a path to mental and emotional wellness in your own life.

Silence itself is so difficult to experience these days. Most of us live our daily lives with noise all around us. If it isn’t our family members or friends or co-workers talking to us, its the noise that plays in the background on our TVs or our phones or computers. It’s even the constant rumble of the city we live in playing in the back ground.

Is silence and/or solitude even important? Is there a reason to engage in either and/or cultivate these things for ourselves? We have heard over and over how important it is to have social connections for our mental health and wellbeing so how could the opposite of that have any benefits?

1. Self-regulation

We have studies that reveal that engaging in solitude appears to act as a form of self-regulation, meaning it helps us balance the constant back and forth of positive and negative emotional states that we experience as humans. In our day to day lives we are often too busy to pause and actually engage in feeling our feelings. We may have really important issues pop up in our minds like our relationships, our goals in life, our past but we push past these thoughts in order to get on with all the things we need to check off on our to-do list for the day. When we are finally alone (and in silence) we can direct our attention inward and experience memories, emotions, problems that we have been suppressing.

This shift into our inner-world can initially cause some uncomfortable or negative moods in us and is often why people shy away from solitude. But experiencing these uncomfortable emotions prompts self-reflection, which we know is very important for our mental health. We also know that there is a rebound effect that comes into play with solitude. Studies show that although initially moods may be lowered when engaging in solitude, moods become much higher after solitude experiences than any other time (including after being with other people!)

2. Becoming more comfortable in your own skin (confidence)

When we are alone we can make decisions and choices without any outside influences. This helps us develop more insight into who we are as a person. We get to know ourselves better. We start to understand our likes and dislikes, why we behave in certain ways, what our true authentic goals and dreams are for our lives.

It is also during these times our creative nature can pop up. Creativity is such an important aspect to maintain mental health. If we are around other people all the time, it is difficult to engage in our own mind to create. We need solitude and time for creativity to kick in.

Both of these things help us to build a sense of confidence about ourselves, to go back out into the world with a sense of knowing who we are and what our purpose is. Solitude creates authenticity and trust in ourselves.

If you want to try a bit of solitude I have a few practical ways you can implement to find more moments of solitude:

Get up early. This takes practice and time to get into an early morning waking cycle but the pay-off in solitude is well worth it.

Start walking, running or biking outside. Any of these activities produce solitude. Your mind quiets and gives you time to experience new perspectives on your life.

Go for a drive alone.

Enjoy a meal at a lovely restaurant alone. (This one will build lots of self-confidence quickly!)

Go camping alone. You may need to work up to this one (at least I had too!) But the exquisite taste of solitude in nature cannot be replicated by any other means.

Remember that silence completes and intensifies solitude. Once you have implemented some solitude in your life, up the ante of its power by creating silence during these times. Shut off the screens, the phone and just experience silence.

“Silence makes us pilgrims. Silence guards the fire within. Silence teaches us to speak.” -The Desert Fathers

Times of solitude and silence bring us more peace, more authenticity, more feelings of self-worth and a richer life-existence.